9.30.2009
I stoles it
Because I'm unoriginal. I got this from a co-worker who sends things such as this along to me. It is because of him that I have these little tidbits, and it is because of his friends that he has them. Now, seeing as I am void of this "friend" thing, I like to suck the life out of those who have them. And then I like to post the shit on my blog so I can be all like "hey, lookit me. i got this funny email thingy and now i'm sharing it with you. because i'm uber cool. and popular. dur".
The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. There fore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
9.20.2009
Bad connection. Hang up and try again.
In order to understand the environment, we must first realize where it was that we separated from it. We have made life something solitary, rather than how life is commonly lived: symbiotically. Monarchs and milkweeds. Squirrels and trees. Bees and flowers. Kakapos and rimus. And yet, humans live a life in which they try and deny that they need anything else in this world. You may need your mom when you're sick, or your sibling in a bind, but you never consider how much you need that tree or plant or animal.
We have made life so convenient, that we no longer connect the two. It's almost like a "yeah, yeah, yeah" moment in which you know you need air, but the who what where and why are irrelevant. Because we simply expect it all to be there. We expect there to be readily available meat, nicely packaged and anticipating our consumption. We know that meat comes from some animal, but we don't consider that it was killed for our benefit.
There are people who actively fight knowing these things, while others are becoming reacquainted with life. Its difficult for some people to change their ways of life. And maybe for various reasons, but the obvious one is that by changing, in a way, you are also thereby admitting error. Because if you were correct, you wouldn't be changing anything. It takes a strong person to not only realize when you're wrong, to not only accept that you're wrong, to not only admit you're wrong, but then to change the action(s) that is wrong. That's asking a lot from some people. A percentage of those simply cannot change.
We have made life so convenient, that we no longer connect the two. It's almost like a "yeah, yeah, yeah" moment in which you know you need air, but the who what where and why are irrelevant. Because we simply expect it all to be there. We expect there to be readily available meat, nicely packaged and anticipating our consumption. We know that meat comes from some animal, but we don't consider that it was killed for our benefit.
There are people who actively fight knowing these things, while others are becoming reacquainted with life. Its difficult for some people to change their ways of life. And maybe for various reasons, but the obvious one is that by changing, in a way, you are also thereby admitting error. Because if you were correct, you wouldn't be changing anything. It takes a strong person to not only realize when you're wrong, to not only accept that you're wrong, to not only admit you're wrong, but then to change the action(s) that is wrong. That's asking a lot from some people. A percentage of those simply cannot change.
9.14.2009
Aww, they're so cute
I think they should open up wide, you know, for a proper teabagging.
(I heart the guy at the end: "my sign is taller than your sign". The sane guy should've looked at him and said, yeah, but my dick is still bigger than yours.)
9.13.2009
9.12.2009
Toyota Car Range Cra..
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